Saturday, January 19, 2013

Re-Read: Chapter Fifty- Sacrificed

"You never know how much time you'll have."

Though Wanda sees the inevitability of her choice, she cannot help but be horrified by it since this is the secret she should fight to protect from the humans and divulging it would make her a traitor to the other Souls. Melanie argues against Wanda as her choice manifests in feeling ill. Jeb notices Wanda is unwell, but she dismisses his concerns and simply tells him she needs a moment to herself, but still has one more question to ask. He agrees to wait for her as she walks quickly down the tunnel. In the dark of the tunnel, Wanda almost runs over Lily, who is sitting in a tiny ball on the floor. 
"Why? I said that life and love go on. But why do they? They shouldn't. Not anymore. What's the point?"
Not knowing the answer, Wanda leaves Lily to her grief and hurries to her room. Grateful the room is empty, Wanda tosses herself on the mattress and contemplates her final question, not for the Seeker, but for herself. 
"The question was would I - not could I - do it? I could save the Seeker's life. I knew how. It would not endanger any of the lives here. Except my own. I would have to trade that."
Melanie is once again emphatic that Wanda does not have to make this choice, this sacrifice. 
"Don't you want to be free?"

There is a long pause before Melanie answers, telling Wanda that she could never ask this of her. Wanda knows that even if Melanie would not ask, she would volunteer eventually, if only for Jared and Jamie. With this, she knows she can give them everything they want; she can give them Melanie back. 
"Ian's right. You're too self-sacfricing. You don't have any limits. You need limits, Wanda!"
New pain overcomes Wanda at the thought of Ian and Melanie reminds her that by leaving, Wanda is taking away everything away from him. Wanda counters that it would never work with Ian as long as she is in Melanie's body since it does not love Ian. Through all of this, Wanda expected to feel some sense of joy from Melanie at the thought of getting her body back, but it never comes and that small kindness touches Wanda. Melanie is adamant that Wanda stays with the others since she is more valuable to them and can help them in ways Melanie never could, but once again, Wanda disagrees.  
"Of course I have to go. Of course I have to give you yourself back. I already knew we souls were wrong to come here. So I don't have any choice now but to do the right thing, and leave. You all survived without me before; you'll do it again. You've learned so much about the souls from me - you'll help them. Can't you see? This is the happy ending. It's the way they all need to story to finish. I can give them hope. I can give them...not a future. Maybe not that. But as much as I can. Everything I can."
"No, Wanda, no."
Melanie's cries fill Wanda's mind, shocked by the depth of Melanie's love for her. Wanda knows that she would do this for Melanie even if Jared was not a factor since Souls cannot "exist at the expense of the one [they] love." In the starlight, Wanda takes in her current body: her dirty and scratched hands, shoulder-length hair softened by hotel showers and Health vitamins, strong arms, and smooth skin. Remembering this kisses she shared with Jared and Ian, Wanda realizes how short her time has been in this body. It has been maybe a year, and though this is the shortest life she has ever lived, it is also the most important. 

Wanda knows her time is up on Earth and gets up, knowing she has to do the right thing with the time she has left. She leaves her room to find Doc, needing his help for what is to come. Wanda finds him alone in the hospital, where he has taken refuge since Sharon moved out of their room and back in with her mother. Doc is startled by Wanda's appearance in the hospital and wonders who needs his help. When she tells him "just me" he waits for her to explain herself. Knowing him to be a man of his word, Wanda knows he can be trusted with the information she can provide him concerning the removal of souls from their human hosts, but she has some conditions of her own before she will divulge the information. When he asks her terms, she tells him that he cannot kill the souls he removes, but obtain cryotanks and get them onto shuttles to other worlds. 

Doc quickly guesses that Wanda wishes to save the Seeker. Wanda tells him the Seeker will be the test, done by Wanda while she is still here. Only then will Wanda teach Doc how to operate on kidnapped souls, though she cannot guarentee the human minds will return or if they are erased forever. 
"What do you mean, while you are still here? Are you leaving?"
"Don't you realize what I'm giving you?"
Realization crosses Doc's face and Wanda continues before he can speak. Giving him further conditions, she tells him that once she is removed, she does not want to be shipped off; this is her planet. Though it might offend some of the others, she wishes to be buried by Walt and Wes. Melanie continues her opposition and Doc joins in, objecting to her wishes. 
"I can't kill you, Wanda. Ugh! I'm so sick of death, so sick of killing my friends."
Doc wonders about Jamie and Jared, but Wanda assures him that they will have Melanie back. When he asks about Ian, Wanda claims he will be better off without her. Though Doc agrees about the Seeker, he needs more time to consider Wanda's conditions concerning herself, but she tells him it is all or nothing. Doc says he needs time to think, but Wanda knows his choice is made. Wanda tells him she will get Jared since they need to go on a quick raid for cryotanks and Doc needs to stall the others. 
"Tell them...tell them the truth. Tell them I'm going to help you get the Seeker out of that body. 


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